Good morning beautifuls!
It's a lovely sunny day today and I'm wearing a skirt! Yes, Me. The girl who has struggled with her body confidence for 6 years is wearing a skirt. In public.
Everybody is beautiful. Yes I know everyone says that, but it's true! Just not everyone sees it in themselves!
I was 14 when my issues with my body image started. I wasn't unfit but I wasn't exactly volunteering myself to run 1500 metres on sports day. I had the usual amount of fat on my hips and I had the little muffin top you get from eating cake at lunch and visiting the sweet shop on the way home. But then again I wasn't one of the popular girls who had loads of friends and boyfriends (I thought this was because they had hips that stuck out and super flat stomachs they showed off every own clothes day).
I don't know what it was that started me hating my fatty bits - I had a family who had similar body shapes and friends who seemed to like me for who I was. But for some reason, I decided I needed to diet. It went really well at first. I ate salads for lunch and avoided the shop on the way home from school. I lost a bit of fat but I didn't see a difference. So I started going for long walks. I'd put my headphones in and just walk. Soon I was walking for 2 hours every night after school. I'd take my Granddad's dog with me so I could walk further. But I still didn't see any difference in my body.
My boobs started to grow more (they were pretty small until I turned 15) and pretty much overnight I'd gone up to a C-cup. My brain decided it was because I was eating a lot the fat was going straight to my boobs. I loved having boobs, I got my first boyfriend because of them! But my brain also decided that once my boobs were big enough, all that extra fat was going to go right on my stomach. So I cut down my food intake. I'd skip breakfast and then eat half a sandwich for lunch. I'd make excuses about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to eat dinner with my family or I'd go to the bathroom halfway through a meal and wait for everyone else to finish so I could dispose of the rest of my meal without anyone seeing. It got to the point where I was eating one single slice of unbuttered toast a day for my dinner.
I started fainting at school, none of my clothes fit and my body started growing little hairs all over it. One day I collapsed at school and was taken to hospital. They weighed me and I was really surprised when the doctor told me I was 5 stone. They diagnosed me with Anorexia nervosa and put all sorts of tubes into me to give my body all the nutrients it needed. I was in hospital for 3 weeks, I was only allowed home because I ate an entire mini pizza. I was watched 24 hours a day at home, making sure I ate properly and didn't try to do too much exercise.
It took 4 years to get back to a healthy weight, my body struggled with all the extra calories I was forced to take and I went up to a size 18. I'm now curvy, my boobs are a decent size and I have a boyfriend who loves the extra bits. My attitude to food has completely changed but mostly so has my attitude to my body.
I never saw how beautiful I was but I do now. Hopefully everyone else will see it in themselves.
xox
Continue Reading...
It's a lovely sunny day today and I'm wearing a skirt! Yes, Me. The girl who has struggled with her body confidence for 6 years is wearing a skirt. In public.
Everybody is beautiful. Yes I know everyone says that, but it's true! Just not everyone sees it in themselves!
I was 14 when my issues with my body image started. I wasn't unfit but I wasn't exactly volunteering myself to run 1500 metres on sports day. I had the usual amount of fat on my hips and I had the little muffin top you get from eating cake at lunch and visiting the sweet shop on the way home. But then again I wasn't one of the popular girls who had loads of friends and boyfriends (I thought this was because they had hips that stuck out and super flat stomachs they showed off every own clothes day).
I don't know what it was that started me hating my fatty bits - I had a family who had similar body shapes and friends who seemed to like me for who I was. But for some reason, I decided I needed to diet. It went really well at first. I ate salads for lunch and avoided the shop on the way home from school. I lost a bit of fat but I didn't see a difference. So I started going for long walks. I'd put my headphones in and just walk. Soon I was walking for 2 hours every night after school. I'd take my Granddad's dog with me so I could walk further. But I still didn't see any difference in my body.
My boobs started to grow more (they were pretty small until I turned 15) and pretty much overnight I'd gone up to a C-cup. My brain decided it was because I was eating a lot the fat was going straight to my boobs. I loved having boobs, I got my first boyfriend because of them! But my brain also decided that once my boobs were big enough, all that extra fat was going to go right on my stomach. So I cut down my food intake. I'd skip breakfast and then eat half a sandwich for lunch. I'd make excuses about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to eat dinner with my family or I'd go to the bathroom halfway through a meal and wait for everyone else to finish so I could dispose of the rest of my meal without anyone seeing. It got to the point where I was eating one single slice of unbuttered toast a day for my dinner.
I started fainting at school, none of my clothes fit and my body started growing little hairs all over it. One day I collapsed at school and was taken to hospital. They weighed me and I was really surprised when the doctor told me I was 5 stone. They diagnosed me with Anorexia nervosa and put all sorts of tubes into me to give my body all the nutrients it needed. I was in hospital for 3 weeks, I was only allowed home because I ate an entire mini pizza. I was watched 24 hours a day at home, making sure I ate properly and didn't try to do too much exercise.
It took 4 years to get back to a healthy weight, my body struggled with all the extra calories I was forced to take and I went up to a size 18. I'm now curvy, my boobs are a decent size and I have a boyfriend who loves the extra bits. My attitude to food has completely changed but mostly so has my attitude to my body.
I never saw how beautiful I was but I do now. Hopefully everyone else will see it in themselves.
xox
